Thursday, January 29, 2009

Funny Political Late Night Jokes



"Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is everywhere on television. Yesterday, he was interviewed by Geraldo Rivera. They billed it as 'an interview with the most hated man in America and Rod Blagojevich.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Gov. Blagojevich is being criticized because he recently compared his experience to that of Nelson Mandela. That may be a stretch, but at least he got the prison part right." --Conan O'Brien

"It's a great day for Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who is continuing on that media tour he's doing. Yesterday, he was on 'The View,' the 'Today' show, and 'Good Morning America.' Today, his hair was on 'Animal Planet' and 'Unsolved Mysteries.'" --Craig Ferguson

"Today, President Barack Obama's first interview as president with an Arabic news network was aired. He told the mostly Muslim nations that America has changed and said if they 'unclench their fist,' we will shake their hand. But they're hesitant because Bush told them the same thing and then got them with a joy buzzer." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Sen. John McCain has confirmed that as rumored, his wife Cindy was approached to compete on 'Dancing with the Stars,' but they turned it down. I guess they figured the McCains have lost enough competitions already." --Jimmy Kimmel

"On this week, our one-week anniversary, Obama sat down for a one-on-one interview [on screen: excerpts from Obama's Al Arabiya interview]. Wait a minute. That's not Katie Couric. Oh my God, that's not even Greta Van Susteren. ... So Obama's first interview is on Al Arabiya. What does he have to say to them that he couldn't say on American television? [on screen: Obama saying he has lived in Muslim countries and that he has Muslim family members]. Wait. What? Why haven't we met them? Don't you think they would have enjoyed sharing in the campaign process? Holy crow. That would be like if the first thing John McCain did after winning the presidency was go on the AARP network and let them know that he, too, sometimes forgets where he is. But I get it. He's a bridge between the worlds." --Jon Stewart

"Nation, I'm sure you've all heard the terrible news by now, and seen this disturbing video that surfaced yesterday of on the Al Arabiya television network [on screen: Obama's interview with Al Arabiya]. Only six days into his term, evidently, President Obama has been kidnapped by Muslim extremists. You can tell they're Muslim extremists because they have that squiggly Arab writing down there at the bottom right there [on screen: Colbert pointing to Arabic on the screen during the interview]. ... So, recapping our top story -- I can't believe I'm the one breaking this -- our president has been kidnapped by a terrorist group calling themselves the Al Arabiya television network. Just listen to what these monsters made him say [on screen: Obama saying Iranians are a 'great people.' He also says Americans 'make mistakes' and aren't perfect]. Not been perfect? What are they doing to him? We know none of that is true." --Stephen Colbert

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