Political Roast-David Letterman-Late Night Political Jokes

John McCain announced today that he is beginning his 2010 senatorial campaign. And I'm thinking, wow! Two more years of a John McCain campaign, hey, cut me a slice of that!" --David Letterman

"But there are some nice aspects during the transition period. For example, the Bush twins gave the Obama girls a tour of the White House. It was very sweet, but the Obama girls got really scared because they heard creepy organ music coming from Cheney's underground lair." --David Letterman

"And then the Bush twins grabbed a candle and took the kids on a tour of Cheney's torture chamber." --David Letterman

"Bill Clinton, what a stand-up guy. He went to Barack Obama and he said he will do anything to help Hillary become secretary of State. He said, "Look, I'll remove my profile from eHarmony.com. And he's going to place all his interns in a blind trust." --David Letterman

"Well, here's some exciting television news. Tomorrow night, Ashley Dupre, who was involved with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, will be interviewed tomorrow night on '20/20.' Unless of course she has to rush back to Washington to fix the economy." --David Letterman

"But we're coming out of the last few weeks, days of the President Bush Administration, and President Bush is changing a lot of laws so you've got to keep your eye on him. And what he's doing now, one of the things that really upsets me, he's taken a lot of things, a lot of stuff, off the endangered species list. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you like endangered species? Well, so I do. I had one for lunch. But I'll tell you, this taking things of the endangered species list is bad, it's really bad. In fact, it is really bad news for that thing on Donald Trump's head." --David Letterman

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